dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
