Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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