I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
