it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
