She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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