Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
