Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize