You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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