I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize