FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
