he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
