New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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