O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
