Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
