So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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