I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
