I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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