Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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