Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
