i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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