he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
