I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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