soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
