JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
