I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
