What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
