I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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