love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
