To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
