we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
