Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
wow bdsm is so cute
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
