3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
