At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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