I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
