Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we have pet lesbian snakes
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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