I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
