Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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