You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
