oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
