TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize