I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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