That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize