She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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