marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
