Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
