why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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