soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
