I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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