So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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