I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
