And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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