i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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