No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I want her autograph on my taint
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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