He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
