I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Send help, water and tortillas.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
