If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
