i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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