Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
