Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm having to shit out rocks
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