Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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