Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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