u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
