I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
