Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
