Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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