so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
