one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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