So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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