p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
