I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
