google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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