Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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