her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
